до свидания~ :(
до свидания~ :(
Aug. 14/15, 2010.
Yaroslavl, Russia
Passionate, Passionate, and sickly passionate about life…
Second visit to Russia is going by quite fast as unexpected, things fly in and out without a trace… unbelievably, IT IS the last night here now… two weeks seems long and short at the same time…
Met many wonderful people here, well, I have to say wonderful, ‘cause they might read this after all… don’t want to “defriend” with any of them~ :p
Kidding~~ they are truly wonderful, I swear!!!
and... they all hate to let me go... because... I know how to fix the internet here... yeah... >_<
Anyone who comes here on their own will, is passionate about life and wish to do greater things in life even if they haven’t realize it, that, is one observation I pickup since last visit. Thus, this trip, is to confirm the founding and to meet more great people that seem hard to find back in “normal” life… isn’t that weird?? You do meet great people in foreign lands, believe it or not… a sort of “closeness” where you often ignored back at homeland…
Take bunch of people outta of their normal comfort zone, and you will see many interesting reactions, and get a sense of their true personality and heart. Yes, the heart, the kindness in people can be easily seen once they’re in the “situation”, which is what I like about this program’s setting. However, it’s neither the core managements nor the organization itself that I’m too fond with, which I already gave extensive feedback last year and aren’t interested to give in any this time around, since they never took any feedbacks seriously… and are cutting this program down for a stupidest reason…
Friends new or old shared the similar mind, doing “nonsense” tasks in a foreign country, really says something; Frank’s right, “we are the idiots!!” Doesn’t matter how idiotic we are, we enjoy it, and nothing can take away the joy we had in each placements, which we get involved with local needed people, or, hmm, weeds that we need to pull out… yes, they need attentions as well….
Yeah, we, pull weeds out of the garden as part of the placement task…
Or girls painted school walls with lead paints…
Or doing crafts with elders, disables, kids in hospital, shelter, and city camps… and hospital for women, which I can’t go… speaking of gender bias… ;p
Or walk babies in circles for three hours in orphanage… trying to find shaded areas if possible under this torture humid climate; which Olga won’t let me go until the very last moment… Thanks girls~ for leaving for St. Petersburg early and gave me the chance to finally go to the “Babies”. Yet, felt terribly sorry for the kids at the city camp where I did promised them I’ll return to them the next day, which I didn’t; and miss the final chance to work with Katya, my sweet Russian sister, where I barely had the chance to talk with this time around… and I felt deeply regret about it now… ‘cause I don’t know when will I see her again…
All and all, the tasks that we typically don’t do back at home, or ever think of doing… Yet, these, are the “boring stupid things” we done over and over once we stepped into this amazingly crazy zone we spend quite a few weeks with… various from two to eleven weeks… price range from one to six thousand sans the airfare… we sure are, “the idiots”…
Is it stupid?
Well, I can assure you that if you ask anyone here who done it, eight out of ten will say she/he will want to come back, yet, can’t afford the price to be back….
Hmm… so, it is pricey… but, why? That, would be an interesting question to dig out the answer… which, I have no interest in doing so at all… Any organization, is “An” organization, regardless what form it takes, bond to have the typical issues… that’s just put it that way..
Will I come back? Most likely will do so, hopefully in other form if possible… if there’s other format available...
--
Russia is smoky this time, with forest fires all around the area, air quality isn’t as good as it should be… and in its hottest ever climate in hundred and thirty years or so… Gladly I never wear contact lens when I visit Russia, was to save the trouble and also ‘cause it would be uncomfortable when air dusts gets to the eyes… that, I always tried to be avoid with when traveling. This summer here, it’s very smoggy and humid at the same time, pollutions from the vehicles as well, all just telling me, ‘winter visit’ is much better~~ Luckily, these last two days here is somewhat back to normal, and we get to see the blue sky with much less humidity around… Well, if I ever comes here again, it ought to be in winter or spring… :p
Working or wondering around town with 104F/40C in humid environment isn’t fun, at all!!! None of us are used to this, so are the Russians; felt back in Asia for me, where sweats just come free without asking… human, just can’t compete with nature, no matter how wealthy or capable he/she think they are… it’s just a fundamental fact that we can’t change it… if this abnormal trend continues, life on earth would be very fun in foreseeable future…
Are we prepared for what will be coming? I doubt it… only in Russia my mind is weird and wonder to different places… or it was like that always? Hmm… In this nation where I have no knowledge of, not knowing the language, not knowing the cultural rituals, not knowing many things, which I intentionally keep this way, so I won’t be bond with it too much, think too much for them, yet, I still done the unthinkable from time to time… that, maybe one of the curse I had with me that’s not changeable…
There are times I forgot who I am, forgot how limited I’m, and how incapable I’m… I just do or say things as it came out… did I thought of it, maybe, or maybe not… which I puzzled myself… in a nutshell, I suppose I should shut myself out and idle around… or hide in the mountains like ancient Daoists done, to avoid the consequences… I, just not sure what is better and what is not from time to time… I suppose I had a terrible personality after all…
--
When the kids at city camp hold me really tight or hug me when they saw me the second time and was my last visit with them, something just can’t be easily removed from heart… it’s that weird feeling that got me to come here the second time… even if I wasn’t really plan to come in hot Aug., but I glad I did. It’s those emotional moments that I don’t think I want to let go…
Asya from city camp just hug me blindly when she saw me the second time, and saddened to let me go, even I stump her foot with a chair leg by accident, she hold her tears and told me it’s not hurting… put up a smile that I can’t resist but can only gave one big smile back. I knew her foot must be hurt, thus I massaged it until she said it’s fine, ‘cause she wants more hug and don’t want me to worry about her… yeah, I just met them for the second time… is there something wrong with this picture???
For kids I met the second time back at home or Asia, I can assure you that they will never act this way… so, are Russian kids all nuts??? So eager for strangers’ “questionable love”?? or there’s something magically happened there? In this nation where the world doesn’t seem to understand at all… Which is which? I have no idea… do you??
At the Frunzensky city camp, the caretaker remembers me and the children recognized me ‘cause they saw the pictures from last year and we bond instantly without second thought… this, is very weird… yeah, weird… I suppose I had a reputation footprint here somehow… hopefully won’t disappoint anyone…
Love for others, hopefully should not take forms or requests, children of all age, should be children, not act like adults; and for adults, it might be better to act like children, with tender hearts and openness for others… ‘cause modern world is slowly losing this passionate side of human nature…
When I finally got the chance to go to the orphanage where over hundred babies, toddlers are, I can’t thanked Olga and the girls enough, ‘cause I finally get to meet them for the first and the last time. In there, I know why all those “babies people” are so fond about and why Ken’s tired all the time; NO, he’s not antisocial, he’s just ‘resting’, it is a WORK there, but you just don’t realize it until you get the chance to lay down… Yes, it’s lovely there, but also at the same time, sadden beneath it… just you have no time to give that a thought, because your unintentional love just spread all over once you step into that dimension… you forgot who you are, and lost in the mystical realm where you don’t want to leave… if you must leave, you so wish you can grab one or two, or three of them with you… well, airliner allow two luggage and a carry-on… if, you can get by with that… I would say there are no babies at the orphanage now…
I, blindly fall in love with children here since last year, for the most unknown reason… which I still don’t understand why…
I’m sure nearly all volunteers here will feel the same and wish they can do more, much more than they already done; and believe it or not, I can tell most of the volunteers are doing more than she/he capable of doing here… all, because of a greater than expected heart in each volunteers’ limited body and soul… compassion for others, is so easily spot here at the home base… You think that’s weird?? Then, I guess you need to be here to find out more… ‘cause I don’t know how to explain it to you… I, seriously don’t know how…
--
Once again, I’m about to leave Russia, a place I hardly thought I visit, but done so twice now… it has been an interesting experiences, and each visit took surprise the different way. Will there be more to come? I do not know, life, do throw unexpected hits at me from time to time, and frankly, I can’t argue with… just stay patient and see what will happen…
They, said I changed… least changed from last year’s visit… Well, I’m not sure if they really know the true me or I really changed; however, if I have the ability to change, or mutate, then life is more fun and challenge this way… I’m not afraid of change, for better or worse, it’s all part of who I am… if I can only keep a passionate heart in me, I’m fine with whatever change; that’s all I asked for… a mere compassion seeded in me always… so I can still be human…
Last day in Yaroslavl isn’t always fun, we were bit crazy and don’t want to sleep last year, stayed all the way up to 3am or so… this time, well, not that crazy, just a wonderful dinner with Sarah and her dad, who generously paid it all and now I’m seating here, eh… undecided I should go to nap or not, since I’ll wake around 4am anyway… had a nice walk around town today by myself after sending Victoria off at the bus stop. Slowly walking around, checking buildings, seating at the embankment for nearly four hours, watching people walk by, got five encounters seat next to me, where one senior lady with a dog “chatted” with me, even though I have no idea what she’s saying… “da da da, da neh neh, da da da… eh.. what??” yeah… that sort of the “chat”… Strangely peaceful there with at least hundred of different people walk pass me and I’m just there to “feel” them… a sort of weird sensation that “da da da” maybe the only method can explain it… It’s a Russian thing…
Well, once again, leaving to airport at five in the morning isn’t fun, especially just two of us… without Olga, Katya, or Asya is the most terrible part of it… darn, I will miss you three the most, my Russian sisters… I intentionally not get to know many Russian stuffs, ‘cause I know I can “feel” it from you three… guess what, I miss you already… this felt terribly sucks… I don’t think there’s a cure to it now… this really sucks…
Da svee-da-nia~ have to say it at some point… no matter how much I don’t want to…
Russia, Russia, you’re amazing… I can only say this…
-TonyT
Aug., 14 or 15, 1:40 am or so… 2010
Yaroslavl, Russia
Aug. 14/15, 2010.
Yaroslavl, Russia
Passionate, Passionate, and sickly passionate about life…
Second visit to Russia is going by quite fast as unexpected, things fly in and out without a trace… unbelievably, IT IS the last night here now… two weeks seems long and short at the same time…
Met many wonderful people here, well, I have to say wonderful, ‘cause they might read this after all… don’t want to “defriend” with any of them~ :p
Kidding~~ they are truly wonderful, I swear!!!
and... they all hate to let me go... because... I know how to fix the internet here... yeah... >_<
Anyone who comes here on their own will, is passionate about life and wish to do greater things in life even if they haven’t realize it, that, is one observation I pickup since last visit. Thus, this trip, is to confirm the founding and to meet more great people that seem hard to find back in “normal” life… isn’t that weird?? You do meet great people in foreign lands, believe it or not… a sort of “closeness” where you often ignored back at homeland…
Take bunch of people outta of their normal comfort zone, and you will see many interesting reactions, and get a sense of their true personality and heart. Yes, the heart, the kindness in people can be easily seen once they’re in the “situation”, which is what I like about this program’s setting. However, it’s neither the core managements nor the organization itself that I’m too fond with, which I already gave extensive feedback last year and aren’t interested to give in any this time around, since they never took any feedbacks seriously… and are cutting this program down for a stupidest reason…
Friends new or old shared the similar mind, doing “nonsense” tasks in a foreign country, really says something; Frank’s right, “we are the idiots!!” Doesn’t matter how idiotic we are, we enjoy it, and nothing can take away the joy we had in each placements, which we get involved with local needed people, or, hmm, weeds that we need to pull out… yes, they need attentions as well….
Yeah, we, pull weeds out of the garden as part of the placement task…
Or girls painted school walls with lead paints…
Or doing crafts with elders, disables, kids in hospital, shelter, and city camps… and hospital for women, which I can’t go… speaking of gender bias… ;p
Or walk babies in circles for three hours in orphanage… trying to find shaded areas if possible under this torture humid climate; which Olga won’t let me go until the very last moment… Thanks girls~ for leaving for St. Petersburg early and gave me the chance to finally go to the “Babies”. Yet, felt terribly sorry for the kids at the city camp where I did promised them I’ll return to them the next day, which I didn’t; and miss the final chance to work with Katya, my sweet Russian sister, where I barely had the chance to talk with this time around… and I felt deeply regret about it now… ‘cause I don’t know when will I see her again…
All and all, the tasks that we typically don’t do back at home, or ever think of doing… Yet, these, are the “boring stupid things” we done over and over once we stepped into this amazingly crazy zone we spend quite a few weeks with… various from two to eleven weeks… price range from one to six thousand sans the airfare… we sure are, “the idiots”…
Is it stupid?
Well, I can assure you that if you ask anyone here who done it, eight out of ten will say she/he will want to come back, yet, can’t afford the price to be back….
Hmm… so, it is pricey… but, why? That, would be an interesting question to dig out the answer… which, I have no interest in doing so at all… Any organization, is “An” organization, regardless what form it takes, bond to have the typical issues… that’s just put it that way..
Will I come back? Most likely will do so, hopefully in other form if possible… if there’s other format available...
--
Russia is smoky this time, with forest fires all around the area, air quality isn’t as good as it should be… and in its hottest ever climate in hundred and thirty years or so… Gladly I never wear contact lens when I visit Russia, was to save the trouble and also ‘cause it would be uncomfortable when air dusts gets to the eyes… that, I always tried to be avoid with when traveling. This summer here, it’s very smoggy and humid at the same time, pollutions from the vehicles as well, all just telling me, ‘winter visit’ is much better~~ Luckily, these last two days here is somewhat back to normal, and we get to see the blue sky with much less humidity around… Well, if I ever comes here again, it ought to be in winter or spring… :p
Working or wondering around town with 104F/40C in humid environment isn’t fun, at all!!! None of us are used to this, so are the Russians; felt back in Asia for me, where sweats just come free without asking… human, just can’t compete with nature, no matter how wealthy or capable he/she think they are… it’s just a fundamental fact that we can’t change it… if this abnormal trend continues, life on earth would be very fun in foreseeable future…
Are we prepared for what will be coming? I doubt it… only in Russia my mind is weird and wonder to different places… or it was like that always? Hmm… In this nation where I have no knowledge of, not knowing the language, not knowing the cultural rituals, not knowing many things, which I intentionally keep this way, so I won’t be bond with it too much, think too much for them, yet, I still done the unthinkable from time to time… that, maybe one of the curse I had with me that’s not changeable…
There are times I forgot who I am, forgot how limited I’m, and how incapable I’m… I just do or say things as it came out… did I thought of it, maybe, or maybe not… which I puzzled myself… in a nutshell, I suppose I should shut myself out and idle around… or hide in the mountains like ancient Daoists done, to avoid the consequences… I, just not sure what is better and what is not from time to time… I suppose I had a terrible personality after all…
--
When the kids at city camp hold me really tight or hug me when they saw me the second time and was my last visit with them, something just can’t be easily removed from heart… it’s that weird feeling that got me to come here the second time… even if I wasn’t really plan to come in hot Aug., but I glad I did. It’s those emotional moments that I don’t think I want to let go…
Asya from city camp just hug me blindly when she saw me the second time, and saddened to let me go, even I stump her foot with a chair leg by accident, she hold her tears and told me it’s not hurting… put up a smile that I can’t resist but can only gave one big smile back. I knew her foot must be hurt, thus I massaged it until she said it’s fine, ‘cause she wants more hug and don’t want me to worry about her… yeah, I just met them for the second time… is there something wrong with this picture???
For kids I met the second time back at home or Asia, I can assure you that they will never act this way… so, are Russian kids all nuts??? So eager for strangers’ “questionable love”?? or there’s something magically happened there? In this nation where the world doesn’t seem to understand at all… Which is which? I have no idea… do you??
At the Frunzensky city camp, the caretaker remembers me and the children recognized me ‘cause they saw the pictures from last year and we bond instantly without second thought… this, is very weird… yeah, weird… I suppose I had a reputation footprint here somehow… hopefully won’t disappoint anyone…
Love for others, hopefully should not take forms or requests, children of all age, should be children, not act like adults; and for adults, it might be better to act like children, with tender hearts and openness for others… ‘cause modern world is slowly losing this passionate side of human nature…
When I finally got the chance to go to the orphanage where over hundred babies, toddlers are, I can’t thanked Olga and the girls enough, ‘cause I finally get to meet them for the first and the last time. In there, I know why all those “babies people” are so fond about and why Ken’s tired all the time; NO, he’s not antisocial, he’s just ‘resting’, it is a WORK there, but you just don’t realize it until you get the chance to lay down… Yes, it’s lovely there, but also at the same time, sadden beneath it… just you have no time to give that a thought, because your unintentional love just spread all over once you step into that dimension… you forgot who you are, and lost in the mystical realm where you don’t want to leave… if you must leave, you so wish you can grab one or two, or three of them with you… well, airliner allow two luggage and a carry-on… if, you can get by with that… I would say there are no babies at the orphanage now…
I, blindly fall in love with children here since last year, for the most unknown reason… which I still don’t understand why…
I’m sure nearly all volunteers here will feel the same and wish they can do more, much more than they already done; and believe it or not, I can tell most of the volunteers are doing more than she/he capable of doing here… all, because of a greater than expected heart in each volunteers’ limited body and soul… compassion for others, is so easily spot here at the home base… You think that’s weird?? Then, I guess you need to be here to find out more… ‘cause I don’t know how to explain it to you… I, seriously don’t know how…
--
Once again, I’m about to leave Russia, a place I hardly thought I visit, but done so twice now… it has been an interesting experiences, and each visit took surprise the different way. Will there be more to come? I do not know, life, do throw unexpected hits at me from time to time, and frankly, I can’t argue with… just stay patient and see what will happen…
They, said I changed… least changed from last year’s visit… Well, I’m not sure if they really know the true me or I really changed; however, if I have the ability to change, or mutate, then life is more fun and challenge this way… I’m not afraid of change, for better or worse, it’s all part of who I am… if I can only keep a passionate heart in me, I’m fine with whatever change; that’s all I asked for… a mere compassion seeded in me always… so I can still be human…
Last day in Yaroslavl isn’t always fun, we were bit crazy and don’t want to sleep last year, stayed all the way up to 3am or so… this time, well, not that crazy, just a wonderful dinner with Sarah and her dad, who generously paid it all and now I’m seating here, eh… undecided I should go to nap or not, since I’ll wake around 4am anyway… had a nice walk around town today by myself after sending Victoria off at the bus stop. Slowly walking around, checking buildings, seating at the embankment for nearly four hours, watching people walk by, got five encounters seat next to me, where one senior lady with a dog “chatted” with me, even though I have no idea what she’s saying… “da da da, da neh neh, da da da… eh.. what??” yeah… that sort of the “chat”… Strangely peaceful there with at least hundred of different people walk pass me and I’m just there to “feel” them… a sort of weird sensation that “da da da” maybe the only method can explain it… It’s a Russian thing…
Well, once again, leaving to airport at five in the morning isn’t fun, especially just two of us… without Olga, Katya, or Asya is the most terrible part of it… darn, I will miss you three the most, my Russian sisters… I intentionally not get to know many Russian stuffs, ‘cause I know I can “feel” it from you three… guess what, I miss you already… this felt terribly sucks… I don’t think there’s a cure to it now… this really sucks…
Da svee-da-nia~ have to say it at some point… no matter how much I don’t want to…
Russia, Russia, you’re amazing… I can only say this…
-TonyT
Aug., 14 or 15, 1:40 am or so… 2010
Yaroslavl, Russia
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